Fack!!! C finally contacted me on Yahoo! with his new number and this whole SOB messages about how he couldn't contact me and how much he misses me. The world must have a fucken vandetta on me because I being a dickhead ran to the car to get my fone but then got disconnected so all of my unread messages got deleted and the effing archives is blank because it clears when you get signed out. Yep, my worst luck. Called his home and his grandma said he's somewhere-where-I-don't-effing-know ... FACK! And PJay and I were picking off where we left, who the eff cares, I don't. Fack PJ, I want my smileyboy. I knew there was a reason why I keep telling myself that C and I were some how just have this bond and can't be severed. Now how am I supposed to break it to him that I won't be seeing him at all, perhaps in the next year or so? If I had one wish it would be just to be with him and all the mushy bullshit. Sighs, I've been so rotten too, because in my deepest of hearts I didn't want to call him when I know I could... Luckily I didn't fack anyone. Phew, one less thing weighing on my conscience. Love, Love, Love, my Smileyboy. xxxx