last night was torture, lying there forever, trying to fall asleep and i just couldn't. it didn't help that all these shadows were moving and casting strange lights into my room. i'm a chicken shit. got up at 7, ate breakfast, bludged a bit, went to pay some bills, saw donna for a while after she seduced me with pictures of her naked ... perky ass (drools), lol ... i'm supposively trying to do my economic cramming for this afternoon's test. i'm dreading 3 hours sitting in a room and not knowing one single answer. i feel so hypo with 4 hours of sleep!  i don't know, i'm still in this mess and i don't know what to do to make it fuck off. i don't want to wake up one day and realise that ive made a terrible mistake. what if when i open my eyes, i realise that i'm all alone?

i keep doing this, i can't stop. i keep doing this to myself, can't fucken stop.