" when you finally open your eyes, you'll be standing all alone"

Procastinating again, as per se. I'm wondering if I should call, after all this time perhaps I should leave with a goodbye. Nah, if I call then I'll lose, cunt will use guilt trip on me, layer on the sugar and I can't say no. Then nothing changes and we're back to square one. Cunt, cunt, cunty cunt. Can't bring myself to delete all his photos but, momento then?
Wow, I'm starting again, so labourious, don't even know where the fuck I'm going and what the fuck am I doing with my life. I feel jilted , let's not lose sleep on it, shall we?

 I have an economics exam tomorrow and I'm sitting online googling up self-disgnosed illnesses; eg; bruises, lump in throat, white spot on fingernail ... etc, I think I have hypochrondria. There was a period when I thought I was dying, but only I saw it. Yeah I know, I'm as so quacky. OMG, I'm actually enjoying my sister's teenybopper music, darnit! I wanna go on a Eurotrip. Wanna go London, Amsterdam, Budapest, Moscow, Prague, and Berlin.

Hey what the fuck do I want? I don't know what the fuck do I want.